I'm kind of in a sad mood.
Yesterday a girl from the (very) small town I work in was killed in a car accident on her way to school. Her dad was driving her and two vehicles stopped in front of them--he didn't see them stop in time because he reached over to the passenger seat to cover up his sleeping daughter. In that last loving, caring gesture, he didn't see the cars stopping in front of him. No one else was injured.
Because we are a small town, it's all anybody is talking about. It's a very sad, heartbreaking situation. My heart aches for her family-especially her dad who will spend the rest of his life regretting that moment when his eyes left the road, who had to watch his daughter die because of his mistake. I think that would be the worst thing.
For Chris and I, life is normal. For now. We are considering a slight change in course that's just different enough to be scary and feel like a leap.
As of right now, all signs are that cycle 17 is a bust. It has me feeling more than a little discouraged because this cycle started out so WELL. I have an appointment on Monday to talk to my doctor and explore our options moving forward. But I don't know if I want to go.
Part of me wants to take a break. A really BREAK with something else to focus on. And that something happens to be this:
Chris and I have wanted to go for 5 years, since we were planning our honeymoon and realized how far out of our price range it was. And now, depending on how everything works with the insurance...we are thinking about going this summer. It would be a dream come true and an excellent way to celebrate five years of marriage.
But this means two things:
A break from TTC (we'd rather me not be pregnant on our trip)
It means that for the immediate future, Chris will continue to work part time
Obviously, the break from TTC isn't the big deal of the two.
Chris working part time is OK. It leaves time for side jobs, for job hunting/interviews and it is better for him physically. Just working part time is very taxing on his body and he really isn't happy where he's working anyway. Don't get me wrong--he is incredibly appreciative that he even has a job right now. But he knows that this isn't where he wants to stay.
The big deal part is where the money comes in.
I'm not going to lie: our finances are 100% different from where they were even 6 months ago. it's not easy, but we are making it work. The only reason that going to Ireland is even a thought is because of the settlement that's being worked on. And in my opinion, after the last 6 months a vacation like that has definitely been earned.
I hesitate to get excited about it though, because we don't know if it's even possible.
So, like we've been doing for the last going-on 6 months, we are playing it by ear.
We've gotten good at it.