This part of the article had the piece of advice that made me laugh out loud. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it was still funny to me.
- Don't make him the center of your universe. This piece of advice came from the Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage and Eat Pray Love. I loved both books and I love this advice. You need to have guys nights, girls nights, individual interests. You were your own person when your husband fell for you, and it's important to preserve that individuality! I'm a people pleaser and I tend to put myself last so this one is a struggle for me!
- Do coddle your marriage--not your spouse. This goes back to the idea of marriage being a living, breathing thing. It has to be nurtured and tended to. If you neglect it, it won't thrive. So do make time for date nights (even at home!) and time with just the two of you on a regular basis. As for not coddling your spouse, I'm not quite sure what the point of that was because it wasn't talked about even in the article! My interpretation--sometimes tough love is needed. Like when hubby wants to buy another new toy and you don't have the money in the budget...or maybe it's you wanting new shoes...or something.
- Don't share a bathroom. This is the one I laughed about! Chris and I have really never been on identical schedules to where we have to fight for bathroom space, so this one never even occurred to me! I can see why it would be beneficial, but it hasn't ever been a problem for us!
- Don't spend in secret. This relates to a previous point I made about tough love. Money is one of the top arguments that couples have and it can really wear on your relationship. Chris and I have really been on the same page financially so we haven't actually ever had a fight about money. Weird, I know! But I think the reason is that we are both really aware of our situation (and watch our accounts!) and talk about things regularly.
- Do keep each other guessing. The tip here is to pick out 3 or 4 things that you would like to do (on a weekend, for your birthday, anniversary, date night...) and let your spouse know, asking them to pick one and arrange it. I love this! Some men are just not great at surprises or planning, so this makes it easier for them to do something nice and sweet without the pressure of wondering if you will really like it.
- Don't go away mad/Pick your battles/Always kiss goodnight. This is one that I sort of disagree with. I totally agree with part two and three. What I disagree with is the first part. Sometimes Chris and I do better if we step away and sometimes even sleep on it. Often, our disagreements are made worse by being tired, so we tend to do better if we leave it alone for awhile. My opinion on this one is that it totally depends on the couple.
So what do you think? Individual bathrooms? How about individual bank accounts? And what about stepping away from arguments?
And next week, we are finishing up! We're talking about marriage being fun, love languages and accepting one another as we are...among a few other things!